one layer

What a week! The possibility of feeling happy and sad at the same time....is exhausting. It is the sandwich of life once again....smushing me! Our 24 year old baby brought home her honey...and he asked for her hand in marriage. We couldn't be more delighted. He is just precious. They will make a fine pair in life...their hearts compliment each other. While basking in the joy of future beginnings....Grief decided to make an unannounced visit. Like a sneak he slipped in the back door and made himself at home in our hearts with news about my dad....Daddy Bob to my children. Daddy Bob has cancer. What an awful word. It just sounds like itself...a word that eats away at a sentence...and your life.

We have known a while that something was wrong...all the signs. The weight loss....no appetite....sleeping many hours....symptoms of a body weary from fighting an invisible enemy. But still... to hear the word....the word you thought you were mentally prepared to hear....Fear, the old friend to Grief....sucker punched us right in the gut. Just simply took our breath away....tears are just on the edge like a cup that has been filled too full....just the tiniest incident and they travel on their own, making little snail trails across my face. Fear and Grief feel like a heavy coat that you want to shed in August.....but you can't quite throw it off.

Until....Joy elbows Hope and they come to your rescue in the body of a beautiful 8 month old baby girl. With twinkling eyes and a little pouting mouth she succeeds in defeating Fear and Grief by just simply giggling and clapping her little chubby hands. The heavy coat of sadness lifts and my heart feels light and joyful once again.

Life with new babies, new beginnings and endings.....and I am in the middle where I experience it all....with new perspective each day. Perhaps the endings are just new beginnings as well. If I believe that...and I do....can Grief and Fear ever become frequent or permanent visitors? I don't think there is room....my heart will always be filled with my loyal and faithful friends, Hope and Joy!