SPANKS!

Life has kept me away from blogging...or jogging. When returning to it...it seems to me that I have spent my time reflecting too much...and laughing too little! SO...time to grin and giggle a little more! With the wedding behind us...and quickly becoming a distant memory, I do want to write a few wedding reflections! Therefore, I would like to say a word or two about a very important and timely subject.....SPANKS!

The original plan was to lose 30 pounds back when the kids announced their engagement. Then after Christmas I reorganized my thinking and decided 20 pounds would be plenty.....finally a couple of weeks before the wedding I was looking for those crash diets where you lose 10 pounds in 24 hours! No need dieting for the long healthy haul....just go into starvation mode for a short period of time...get through the wedding and then go back to regular life! Life style change? Not so much! THEN....I heard about SPANKS! The wonder girdle! After looking around I discovered they sold them a Lane Bryant....a store I refused to go into until recently...I just felt I would be crossing over to the dark side....along with elastic waist pants and granny panties (which I love by the way!)

Well....I love SPANKS! I bought some and they were comfortable.....IF you can get them up! Surely the act alone could be considered as exercise. I burned some calories pulling those babies up! That was a sight to behold I am sure! The designer of these magnificent body squeezers put a slit where the crotch is.....thinking... of course, of the convenience for a lady to go to the restroom if the need should arise. Not possible!!! I am certain emptying ones bladder while entombed would not be possible. Nice thought....but just not possible. First of all that would require squatting....not possible. Then the whole idea of aiming directly through a slit without dripping....once again...not possible. AND....it would all require wearing no underwear.....EEEEEEWWW! I think maybe the opening was meant to just be a good ventilation system...but in my case my thighs will block the air flow...woo hoo! I think the real solution may be to not eat or drink anything for 24 hours there fore diminishing the need to use bathroom facilities!

One of my friends suggested I wear thongs with the SPANKS to prevent panty lines. Oh yea...let me think....NO! Talk about double trouble! My granny panties work quite well...thank you! The panty lines are concealed nicely between the fat roll of my floppy fanny! What we women won't do!

These are the kind of tiny yet significant details that are left out of wedding etiquette books. These are only the juicy tidbits one gets from honest girlfriends. So...my advice to all future mothers of the bride...or groom....granny panties and SPANKS.....or you could just be yourself and let it all hang out and have a rip roaring good time! :)

Camp Creek Reflections

Jim and I just returned from a restful few days at Camp Creek. It is the perfect spot for reflection and evaluation...getting perspective on life. What a year it has been! Last summer while there I wrote in my journal that I felt as if I was preparing for something...waiting...getting ready. I think God's pacing is perfect...and he was allowing us to rest before the storms of life hit in August. Nine months later we had survived two funerals, a miscarriage and a wedding. This summer was a rest of recovery. This story of my life has included many chapters. I wonder sometimes....where am I in this story...am I approaching the climax with a cliff hanger....or could I be coming to the final chapters? Only God knows... I think I am glad about that!

I feel conflicted these days. I think I am growing old! How on earth can that be? In my mind I am young and fun! I want to do or leave behind something lasting...a legacy if you will. Recently, my sister in law told me of a friend of hers that died and during the funeral the preacher tossed a pair of bright yellow cleaning gloves across the podium...and stated that anyone that knew this gal knew about her rubber gloves! Everyone laughed. I didn't. She was remembered at her funeral for her passion for cleaning? I know that won't be said at my funeral! But...I do hope I would be remembered for qualities more significant than cleaning.

I want to leave a legacy to my grandchildren...a happy heart, a love of life, a grateful spirit, laughter...gifts that can't be purchased with money. I want to teach them about their real heritage...about their real Father. I am to teach them who He is....and how much He will love them their whole lives. I want them to recognize Him living in me. Oh boy....I have some straightening out to do!

I am 54 years old...I think! Well, I will be in a few weeks or so. I am not sure how gray I am. I keep it covered. I weigh more than I ever weighed in my life...even when I was 9 months pregnant...delivery date pregnant! I am beginning to notice my knuckles are swollen and my rings don't fit anymore. It takes a while to work the aches out in the morning. If I sit still too long I go to sleep! :) I miss the middle of lots of movies. I can't sleep at night....but could sleep just about any other time. It takes me several days to clean my house....I used to be able to get it done in half a day!

I have jowls! My eyelids lay heavily on my eyelashes. Wild black hairs sprout in the most peculiar places over night. Being regular has come to mean more than I could have ever imagined! And...it all just makes me mad!

Myself...is a contradiction! I feel a sense of urgency to "do something" and yet....I don't want to do anything! I want to paint....but I don't want to go to the trouble of getting it all out. I want to travel...but I don't want to leave home. I want to remodel the bedrooms...but it is just so much work. I want to save money....but...I spend it. I want to get rid of "stuff", only to buy more. I want to diet and get fit...but I want more chocolate cobbler from Angela's! I want to be more involved at church...but I don't want to make any commitments. I want the kids to come home for a visit....then I am relieved when they leave.

Am I normal? I don't care....or maybe I do care!? I think for the first time in a very long time I have choices. It is a very new feeling. Decisions can be made... the last 30 years or so there were no choices. I just did what needed to be done. SO....I am giving myself permission to ponder and decide. It is ok to do nothing for a little while....soon I'll move toward "something".....but just not today! :)