Texas Boys and Tree Stumps!

In the spring storms a tree we had planted many years ago twisted and landed on our house! The tree groomed for climbing is now in pieces drying out for winter firewood. The stump....well, frankly....stumped us! It was large....with long roots. Jim has been tackling the tree stump for a while. Smoke it out? Cut is out? Pull it out? Or a little of all three! Saturday his best buddy from high school came by with tools and they conquered the stump! Mike commented that he had the kind of faith that moved mountains...Jim rolled is eyes as if to say, "Yea, but what about stubborn tree stumps!" Mike's optimism with Jim's pessimism...plus an added dash of that "I am a Texas man" spirit succeeded in driving that tree from the ground. John Paul...our creative nephew, another bold Texas spirited younger (much younger and stronger) man pulled up in the drive to haul off the stump. Yep, he was looking for a big stump and it turns out our stump was just perfect. He is going to turn that old red oak gnarled bark into a beautiful large natural bowl. Isn't God great? Takes a spring storm and uses it to bring old friends together with a creative genesis....and then transforms the mess to make something new and useful! Hmmmmmm......sounds familiar....don't you think? Yep.....our God is mighty good!

Time

As I reflect...as I often do...some may call it daydreaming.... attention deficit disorder....head in the clouds...or all of the above...but once again I digress! The word time seems to creep into our conversations multiple times a day.......see what I mean! Just a few phrases about time....

In the beginning....

It is time!
Arrival time...
Time to sleep
Time to eat
Is it time for...teething, sitting up, crawling...or walking?
Time for your bath.
Playtime
Happy times
Time flies...

And then....

It is time for school!
You must be on time.
Lunch time, break time, test time...
Time to buckle down.
It is about time...
Summer time!
Time after time, year after year...
It is that time of the month!
That time of the year...
That time in your life.
Springtime...time for love
Get me to the church on time!

Never enough time.
Never enough time.
Never enough time.

Life time...
This time...
Our time....
Is it that time again?
Time and again
Running out of time
Wasting my time
Make good use of your time.
In a time crunch
Hurried times
Make the payments on time.
What happened this time?
Do you know what time it is?
How many times have I told you?
For the hundredth time....
Do we have time?
Don't have time.
Time to leave the nest....

Time on your hands
Me time...
Lonely times
Time of your life!
Hard times
Time to retire!

And finally....

What to do with the time?
Looking back at the good times
Too much time..
It has been a long time.
Next time...
Treasure the times...
Time to eat.
Time to sleep.
Timeless
We had a good time.
Do we have time?
Time out...
Time's Up!

Ages and Stages...

While visiting mom last week at her new "home" I couldn't help but be amused by the dynamics of the place. She is the new kid on the block....and just like middle school or high school there are cliques. Little groups that hang out at the "popular" table at dinner. There is no assigned seating...but trust me... make no mistake about it...folks know where their seats are! You sit in somebody's seat and they will let you know about it. Her "place" right now is at a table with four or five other ladies that sit by a big window. All of them are in their nineties. Mom is seventy six. They are sweet and kind ladies...but remarkably old and hard of hearing. Conversation is labored. Mom is bored. She was never a big fan of old people or dogs...so she is really making a big effort here. As we ate at the table she said in a big voice....."I have a surprise for us!" I was surprised because she hadn't mentioned any surprises to me before coming to what she affectionately calls "The Bean" (a reference to the cafeteria at ACU). She pulled out a little pair of scissors from her bag that sits beside her in her wheel chair. "Look! We can use these to cut the mayonnaise and mustard packages." As she demonstrated....snip....snip.....Well, I am telling you she broke some serious barriers with her gift to the table. Lots of approving nods.....and smiles. Right away one of the more serious ladies told her they must not leave them at the table....or they would disappear never to be found again. They all agreed....this treasure must be kept under wraps! I smiled.....Mom was trying and she succeeded in building a bridge.

Mealtime is interesting. I was reminded of the times when I went to help Dad feed the cows. They would see his pick up rounding the corner. They would follow behind the pickup as he would lead them to the pen for hay or buckets of feed. Around 11 or so it is like cattle call....everyone starts gathering and there is a steady line of walkers headed to "The Bean". Some are decorated...others are practical. Some have baskets for "stuff", a few have tennis balls on the legs to help them slide along. The cool ones have wheels and seats that fold down....with brakes. Mom wants one of those...with a basket. Meal time is nutritional and social....food for the body and the soul. It becomes the highlight of their long days.

Mom has made one friend....she is younger like Mom. Her name is Mary Jim...not Mary....but Mary Jim and you must call her by both names. She is a mess....fun, intelligent and interesting. She and Mom share a love for pickeled things. So I must remember to bring pickeled okra, corn or just about anything pickeled for them to enjoy. Mary Jim shared her pickeled cactus with Mom and she giggled like a school girl that had tried something dangerous. Mary Jim was a the wife of a rancher in Amarillo. She cooked for ranch hands....and she has the look of a weathered rancher herself. Her body is crippled but her heart is whole and good....and kind. I am glad she is my mother's friend. They will have adventures together I am sure.

Everybody has a story....Mary Jim will share hers bit by bit. Mom will learn of others as time goes by and soon I suspect she will create her own circle of friends that she gravitates to and learns to love. Time....give it time. Time to adjust.....time to heal.....time to remember and a time to create new friendships and a time to add new chapters to a life that already reads like a novel.
Time......

Memories

Summer is short this year. The task of emptying out the home place in Rising Star has become the all consuming job this summer. Last summer Jim and I went through this same process with his parent's place...and now it is my turn. It feels different though....with his parent's home we saw it come to life again as Amy and Greg moved in and created a new, fresh home. It felt good.

My parent's situation was a little different. Dad died a couple of years ago....leaving Mom alone. She fell after Christmas and now through life circumstances finds herself in a retirement center. She is too young to be there... none of us could foresee that this would be her future. She is having to sell everything...and downsize. It feels like another death in the family. Rising Star is where we always had family....lots of it. Young ones moved away....old ones died and now there are only markers outside of town that note the family existence.

SO...because everyone was busy building their own nests and futures most of the task fell to me to sort through the "stuff". Guy, my sweet brother, is taking care of Mom all the time...so it was the very least I could do for him as his responsibilities for Mom are ongoing and daily. It was a good thing... gave me some closure. I was able to touch each "thing" and think about its significance....or not. There were lots of memories in the mess!

What I learned....the value of the stuff is of no value. It is the life that touched it and the memories that were captured that made a thing of some value to someone. An aluminum boat shaped tin plate became the prized "thing". Everyone asked about it. It is probably not worth a dollar....but everyone wanted it. Why? It was on the table at every single meal of my lifetime. Dad put bacon or sausage in it in the mornings.....on top of a folded piece of paper towel. The paper towel was key....soaked up excess grease! It was used again at lunch for whatever....and then supper usually found it holding fried something....okra, squash, a few potatoes with onion. That old tin was a family member! Always faithful and always dependable. I learned this week that it was a wedding present to my Mom and Dad. It will set on my table tonight...with a folded paper towel on it to just remind me.

When sorting it became clear that the newest, most stylish, currently purchased items would go into the estate sale. It was the bowl with the crack, the deep cast iron skillet and silly things that would be treasured. It made me think of my own things...and look at them with new eyes. I was reminded of what really made a house a home. There is a friend of mine that has a wall in her home that if filled with family photos. Her home is beautiful with the latest colors and styles....but my favorite wall is the one that tells the story of their lives. The years of love and accomplishments and memories. I hope she never changes it. It is the wall that says "home" to me.

As we watched years of "things" go out the door....slowly our home just became an empty house. It was satisfying knowing that some of the buyers were excited and would love and treasure some of Mom's trinkets or knic knacks. Many of the residents of the tiny town stopped by to say hello and spin a yarn or two about my mom or my dad. One fellow came by late after everything was picked over and just wanted some little something to remind him of my mom. He was round, uneducated and awkward....his smell arrived before he did. He smiled a big toothless grin and simply said, "Your momma shore was good to me. If the house don't sell before the pecans come due, I'll be happy to pick 'em up for your momma. I'll shell 'em for her and everything.....'cause your momma shore does like pecans and she was always good to me." It made me so proud of my momma...it became clear throughout the day that my momma was good to a great number of folks....and they would not soon forget her or my daddy. Could there be any greater legacy than that for a daughter...a son...or grandchildren?

As the layers of the sandwich peel away....I must remember to build my own legacy for the time when certainly my children will sort through my "stuff".