Ages and Stages...

While visiting mom last week at her new "home" I couldn't help but be amused by the dynamics of the place. She is the new kid on the block....and just like middle school or high school there are cliques. Little groups that hang out at the "popular" table at dinner. There is no assigned seating...but trust me... make no mistake about it...folks know where their seats are! You sit in somebody's seat and they will let you know about it. Her "place" right now is at a table with four or five other ladies that sit by a big window. All of them are in their nineties. Mom is seventy six. They are sweet and kind ladies...but remarkably old and hard of hearing. Conversation is labored. Mom is bored. She was never a big fan of old people or dogs...so she is really making a big effort here. As we ate at the table she said in a big voice....."I have a surprise for us!" I was surprised because she hadn't mentioned any surprises to me before coming to what she affectionately calls "The Bean" (a reference to the cafeteria at ACU). She pulled out a little pair of scissors from her bag that sits beside her in her wheel chair. "Look! We can use these to cut the mayonnaise and mustard packages." As she demonstrated....snip....snip.....Well, I am telling you she broke some serious barriers with her gift to the table. Lots of approving nods.....and smiles. Right away one of the more serious ladies told her they must not leave them at the table....or they would disappear never to be found again. They all agreed....this treasure must be kept under wraps! I smiled.....Mom was trying and she succeeded in building a bridge.

Mealtime is interesting. I was reminded of the times when I went to help Dad feed the cows. They would see his pick up rounding the corner. They would follow behind the pickup as he would lead them to the pen for hay or buckets of feed. Around 11 or so it is like cattle call....everyone starts gathering and there is a steady line of walkers headed to "The Bean". Some are decorated...others are practical. Some have baskets for "stuff", a few have tennis balls on the legs to help them slide along. The cool ones have wheels and seats that fold down....with brakes. Mom wants one of those...with a basket. Meal time is nutritional and social....food for the body and the soul. It becomes the highlight of their long days.

Mom has made one friend....she is younger like Mom. Her name is Mary Jim...not Mary....but Mary Jim and you must call her by both names. She is a mess....fun, intelligent and interesting. She and Mom share a love for pickeled things. So I must remember to bring pickeled okra, corn or just about anything pickeled for them to enjoy. Mary Jim shared her pickeled cactus with Mom and she giggled like a school girl that had tried something dangerous. Mary Jim was a the wife of a rancher in Amarillo. She cooked for ranch hands....and she has the look of a weathered rancher herself. Her body is crippled but her heart is whole and good....and kind. I am glad she is my mother's friend. They will have adventures together I am sure.

Everybody has a story....Mary Jim will share hers bit by bit. Mom will learn of others as time goes by and soon I suspect she will create her own circle of friends that she gravitates to and learns to love. Time....give it time. Time to adjust.....time to heal.....time to remember and a time to create new friendships and a time to add new chapters to a life that already reads like a novel.
Time......