Daddy Bob update

Guy and I are taking turns staying with Dad. They have a roll away mattress but it is springy and creaky so we have decided the best way is to throw the mattress on the floor. It is not bad....you don't sleep too soundly anyway....much like the old days when you listened for your baby to cry....only now you are aware of the labored breathing beside you....and you sit up instantly when it gets quiet......then there is a gasp.....and you relax again.

Guy and I decided that Dad hated the "bubble wrap" under the sheets....so we took matters in our own hands....Guy held Dad in his arms...lifted him and I stripped it off....folded up and hid it in the closet. Dad has rested better since....or maybe we have! The nurse was not pleased with us.....and we are not normally rule breakers.....but it felt good to do something a little rebellious....and by golly....it was something we could DO.....so we did! My brother and I have reverted to our sibling rivalry. I am the big sis and he is the little brother....the problem is...he isn't! He is a grown man with opinions and he makes decisions....but he is however, the same aggravating little brother that torments me at the first opportunity! He is a good, sweet man....and we are learning so much about the other.

We have been disturbed by mom....she goes home (drives 50 miles) every night. It seemed silly to us and we kept insisting that she stay....since my brother lives in town....she has been equally insistent that she go home each night. It was my night off last night so I went home with her....and instantly I knew why she is going home. Dad's pick-up greets you as you pull in the drive way. His old tractor that he tinkered with all the time is in the garden....midway...in the middle of a row. Looks like he may have started something he could not quiet finish one day. That is where Daddy is....home. The moment I walked through the back door I saw his old coat and hat hanging on the hat stand....with his old boots underneath. His chair smells like him....and his socks are still beside his chair. Mom goes home to be with Dad.....he is not here in this sterile hospital room.

We have had silent moments, moments of grief and as you know....our family copes with humor. Last night Mom sat looking at Dad and said......"Well, he has been sleeping like that for six weeks.....I guess when he finally gets there he will sure be rested! " My brother and I looked at each other and then all three of us just folded in laughter.....with tears streaming down our cheeks. I am not sure it was that funny.....but it was nice to laugh....and one pitiful joke led to another. We are either a healthy family or a very sick family......but it was a much needed release. Dad would have been right there with us......he is the master of humor and certainly the master of spinning a good yarn!

Breakfast this morning was lonely.....Dad loved breakfast and he was always the one that fixed breakfast. At home you always woke up to the smell of coffee, bacon or sausage. He always bought those 99 cent biscuits that you whopped on the side of the counter to open. So....you heard the "whop" and smelled the smells. We always tried to get him to buy a better brand of biscuits....but he always said, "these will do just fine." And we ate them....with homemade plum jelly and of course, the ever present cream gravy. There was always a black cast iron skillet close by....for frying a little ham.....or some potatoes. This morning...the kitchen was quiet....and clean.....no smells. Mom and I tried to fix something healthy....and it just felt sad. I longed for cheap biscuits and cold ham.

Well, in God's time. We have a little blue book that explains the stages ....and what to look for. So we are seeing a few of the signs...if Dad chooses to go by the book......but he never has.....and I imagine he will go his own way this time as well. I know there is a life going on outside these walls....but it all seems so unimportant....and insignificant. For now....we are just waiting....drinking lots of coffee....and treasuring the memories.